Raven's Diary

Tuesday morning 5am. He looks pretty lively and takes himself from his bed to the grass. Improvement already showing, amazing. He’s showing signs of communication – he whines and moans and we understand. He’s hungry again! Feed him and he’s happy. We go back to sleep for a bit. By 8am he’s even more willing to take himself out. Take note that not once has he messed himself inside, such a good boy already. Still a bit wobbly but seems to enjoy the grass very much. Another moan indicates belly still hungry. Scoffed down softened pellets with chicken and rice. Trying to slowly introduce pellets. Shame he doesn’t know it’s food. He really does look more alert and lively this morning. So nice to see.

Morning tea break another small meal and we sit in the sun soaking up some good Vit D. I’m trying to feed him every three hours small portions so that his tummy doesn’t get upset and so that he continuously gets calories to stick onto those bones.

Lunch time another smallish meal and we sit in the sun again for a bit. Chris brings Tux outside in arms to get closer and he behaves so well, no growling. Other one is unsure though. He’s getting around so nicely that we leave open the door to outside for a bit and he wanders around a bit on his own. I wondered what he would do with a hoof and so gave it to him. Surprisingly he started relishing it immediately. So at least now he has something to keep him busy between meal times.

Sometimes I feel like a canine butler – forever serving our pups hand and foot! LOL they must think they’re in heaven.

We’ve also just decided on a name. Bentley – from the bent grass field. Thought it appropriate seeing as our first encounter with him was in a long grassy section between houses. I’m sure to him it looked like a big field.

Evening meal I made him a huge plate of much more softened pellets and chicken and rice. He enjoyed that very much. He seems to be limping a little bit extra, maybe from all the potty breaks during the day. We aren’t sure how many times to take him out. I feel sorry for him being couped up all day in a little space. But it is what’s good for him right now. We tuck him in for an early night.

Monday he had xrays taken which showed a broken pelvis. They say probably from a car hitting him. Poor boy, imagine how long he had been living with that, coz there are no fresh wounds. They say that he luckily doesn’t need surgery.

My heart kept telling me it’s my mission to help him but I don’t know how. I fetched him from the vet with no clue what way forward. Phoned ahead to home to prepare a small corner. He is now in a spare room where he needs to be confined in a small space to heal his broken bones over the next six weeks. All I know is that he needs love to trust again. The scars all over his little body tell a story of a hard life.

He doesn’t have a name yet…I’m busy looking for a perfect name with meaning. He needs something special. My mission is just to take a day at a time, love him, feed him, keep him warm and hope he becomes the best he can be. We aren’t sure if we’ll be able to keep him but we won’t worry about that now, at least he’s not forgotten at a shelter. One day at a time….

I fed him cooked chicken and rice three times before we went to bed. He seemed hungrier every time. He’s also drinking a lot of water and peeing like a race horse. He still needs help to get to the grass but then tries to wander a few steps and stares longingly at the road…as if his journey isn’t finished…

Saturday morning our one and only intention for the day was to go into town to run some necessary errands and get home to relax and sleep. As the universe will have it we were met with a challenge a mere 1km from home. We spotted a very thin limping dog and honestly we did hesitate, fortunately not for long. The real challenge came in gaining his trust to enable capture. He looked so tired and just flopped down into some long grass. We had nothing with us to tempt him. So we raced back home to get water and food and leash. Upon return he was still flopped down where we left him. Every attempt on getting closer he would find some strength to move a little further. Chris got to a point where he was close and tried to sit a while to gain trust. We now realize THAT was the time to have grabbed him. An hour passed chasing him all over the neighbourhood, we tried everything, running, driving, helpers. Eventually he got too close for our comfort to the freeway and we decided to leave him be for a bit. So off to town we headed with tired feet and heavy hearts. We felt so disappointed that we couldn’t catch him to help.

We landed up only doing one errand and raced back home. I drove around all the streets while Chris flanked the freeway looking through those bushes. Lo and behold it wasn’t but a few minutes and I spotted him across the road from where we originally saw him. He was sleeping in a shadow. With the help of some beggars and the two of us we managed to get him just as he was about to set sail again. Banged up leg and all he was a lot faster than us.

Now we didn’t know what to do. After some disappointing lack of enthusiasm from a shelter we took him to a vet and they placed him under observation for the weekend…

…the rule of my life it seems!

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.  ~Mary Manin Morrisse

The quote above is so true. This is what I’m struggling with, more than usual, at the moment. I’ve always been afraid of adventures deemed dangerous or risky in my eyes. Goodness alone knows how I managed to Bungy jump. I don’t even want to go walk our little dog in our neighbourhood out of fear we will run into other dogs or be attacked.

At the moment I’m trying to get over the fear to enable me to go forth and be a successful photographer. For too long I believed that my work was not good enough to charge for or to even display. At least I now sort of believe that my photo’s are good. I’m struggling though to market myself and get my name out there. I am so afraid of getting a phone call to ask for a quote.

Case in point….I got an email from a total strangers a few weeks ago asking about Wedding Photography quotes. I cringed but thought let me just do it at least. So eventually we set up a face to face meet and was ‘forced’ to print out my current work to add to my portfolio. I am so glad that I did because seeing the printed versions of my work gave me hope. Then the couple was so eager they wanted to book me on the spot and I felt myself tracking back out of fear. I have been haunted by that meeting ever since thinking about it constantly, wanting to withdraw the offer and cancel.

Fortunately I was thinking soberly enough to wait…..and today I contacted them to say that honestly I’m fearful but that I would like to accept if they still are. Guess what? They are still keen so I have a wedding booked in December and now I have a whole lot of other fears and nightmares ahead.

Why do we complicate life so much? I hope and pray that I will be able to deliver what they expect. Although I also know that you cannot make everyone happy. So that worries me terribly. But only time will tell. And so the journey begins….I have to get my big butt into gear and start marketing myself somehow so that I can get some practise in and hopefully spin off some self confidence.

…by Elizabeth Gilbert

What an awe inspiring book! Sheez. My husband bought me this book for Women’s Day and let me tell you it could not have come at a better time in my crazy phsycosis filled life.

Coming out of two months of illness, falling right into a deep dark hole of depression on the way bouncing off a near death experience….I really really needed this book. Her life story seemed to have so many similarities and I benefited greatly from her lessons and insight.

Her tale begins herself from depression coming out of a difficult divorce and how she journeys to three distinct places in which she experiences the eat, pray, love verbs in each country. How her journey leads her to meet people which she needs to meet to enable her healing. How she finds peace and enlightenment, my wishes. She gives hope that if she could find it then why couldn’t I.

It’s a marvelously well written with some funny bits in between the lessons self help   rich story line novel. I can see why it was such a best seller worldwide.